Since my
high school years, I've had a difficult time appreciating the importance of my
own birthday. Although I love cake and presents, I always felt a bit like
"so what, I'm another year older. Big deal." And I never really fell
victim to analyzing whether or not I'm living up to my full potential in life
during birthdays. Usually I just sort of shrug off my birthday and feel as if
it was just another day.
This year I
grew a new perspective as I laid in bed on the eve of my birthday. And it
started as I hung in thought about the word "birth day". It's
actually not so much about becoming a certain age, like turning 36 in my case,
but more about the fact that 36 years ago I was being delivered in a hospital
as a product of my Mom and Dad. It's a day to celebrate the fact that I was
even birthed in the first place.
I was born
in 1977; six years after my brother was born. The reason it took six years for
my parents to have their second and last child (me) was because my dad had a
hard time convincing my mom to have more children. She felt she did not know
what kind of world she would be bringing a child into and that scared her.
From my
mother's perspective, that makes a lot of sense. She was born in East Germany
after a war in a country that had a pretty bad global reputation. To make
matters worse, she was born illegitimate (which was a big no-no at that time)
and spent her childhood escaping East Germany and then Germany altogether to
come to America, leaving all personal belongings and family behind.
Assimilation was not easy for her or my Grandmother and they had plenty of
encounters with bigotry. It's understandable how these life experiences will
shape your view of the world and you would feel that it's not a place for
children.
Unfortunately
for both her and me, she passed away when she was only 42 and I was only 10,
and she never really got to see or hear what kind of world she brought me into.
I've had so many opportunities to visit amazing parts of the world that are
filled with amazing people. And on this particular birthday, I spent the day on
an island in the Davao Gulf of Mindanao, meeting with community members who
have committed their spare time to help govern and protect the fish sanctuary
they live near. And I met with university faculty members and tour operators
who are helping to protect and repopulate several dwindling species of giant
clams. I even met a Filipino couple from the United States who are building
their own resort near the fish sanctuary and whose passion for protecting the
area felt tangible. I wish my mom got a chance to experience some parts of the
world like this and to meet the many people with huge, warm hearts and
dedication to protecting other life forms; and many of these people have their
own struggles with battling poverty or rural health issues, yet they remain
committed to this mission. And the individuals who are heading up these
projects show unending energy and drive to keep pushing things forward, even if
it means time away from their families and friends.
Had my
mother been with me on this trip, or on any other trips I've taken to meet with
communities working towards conservation goals in the Philippines or Latin
America or Africa or Asia/SE Asia, she would have seen just how amazing this
world actually is, and that it's comprised of even more amazing individuals who
persist even when the problems feel insurmountable. Instead of feeling scared
about what kind of world she was bringing me into, she would have felt excited
to hear the stories of how her daughter will be moved and changed by these
experiences.
For me, this
year, my birthday represented all the inspiring people I have met during my
journey of life and an excitement for all of those who I will continue to meet
along the way. I am so grateful that I was born 36 years ago, grateful that I
have survived to this day, and even more grateful for all the people who have
left a mark on my life's journey.
Thank you
and happy birthday to me!
